“About seventy percent of the time, a bride will likely marry the (astrological) sign of one of her parents. Astrologers feel we unconsciously look to the sign of our mother or father in choosing our mates because we feel comfortable and familiar with that sign.” (Susan Miller, Astrologer)
Your placement among your siblings can also affect relationships. The oldest child in the family is used to taking the lead, making suggestions, and delegating to others. In a relationship, s/he may want to make the important decisions, or at the very least play a lead role in the decision-making process. S/he will likely be the initiator, understand and appreciate family dynamics, and be willing to negotiate disagreements more readily.
The middle child understands what sharing is all about and tends to be more giving in nature. They are often the “peace makers” and more laid back about roles and responsibilities, easily fitting into whatever is expected of them. In a relationship, they can be more adventurous and daring when it comes to trying new things and more open to new ideas.
The youngest child is often seen as the “spoiled” child, the one who is used to getting his or her way. S/he is frequently shy in their younger years as the older siblings often speak for them, but later in life become quite sociable and able to fit in with all different types of people. In relationships, they are often more demanding and expect more attention from their partner than they are willing to give. Some even adopt the attitude “my way or the highway.”
The only child tends to identify more easily with adults than children. If they are not taught how to share their belongings as children, they may grow up with the attitude “what’s mine is mine”. The only child is not used to sharing attention and hence can be self-centered and opinionated in a relationship. They also tend to be more independent and confident, and like to figure things out rather than have their partner tell them how to do it. They won’t mind taking the lead role and can be quite mature when it comes to discussing issues with their partner.When it comes to relationships, the oldest child and youngest child couple will get along better generally, while two youngest will struggle more in a relationship with roles and responsibilities. The middle child will fit in with either the oldest or youngest, and the only child will do better with the oldest or middle child for a partner. Two oldest may butt heads occasionally but are often mature enough and giving to work things out with their partner.
Back in the 90s, I started a matchmaking service called Soul Match for single people healthy in body, mind, and spirit. I put a lot of emphasis on “healthy” because I strongly felt if a person was not balanced in these three areas, then chances of having a successful relationship were slimmer. When it comes to choosing the right partner consider the important questions:
What are your expectations of a partner? Are they realistic?
What do you value? Is family important to you? Do you want to have children? What are your religious/spiritual beliefs?
What are you passionate about? Interests come and go, but passions are usually life-long. Does your partner share your passions or at least support them?Where do you see yourself in ten years? Twenty years? Thirty years? It’s important to share goals…for example if you plan to retire and travel at age 50, and your partner is starting a business at that point, it could present a problem.
What are the deal breakers for you? What can you live with and what can you not live with? For example: generous versus frugal or stingy; religious/spiritual versus atheism; party animal versus homebody; risk taker versus cautious.
What is the essence of who you are? It is important to choose a partner whose nature is similar to yours.If you are an extreme extrovert who likes to socialize a lot, be on the go, and have people around you most of the time, you might avoid choosing a partner who prefers quiet times at home.
Is it important to you to choose a partner who shares the same ethnic/cultural background? Mixed relationships can work if the couple is open and accepting of one another’s beliefs and cultures. Realistically, you are likely to face obstacles, particularly if the families do not support the mixed marriage.
The age factor does make a difference. Ten or twenty years difference in age may not present a problem now, but look ahead to the future and make certain your life goals match up.Can you picture yourself spending the rest of your life with this person? Growing old together?
Do you see your partner as your best friend? Best friends tend to be more forgiving, more tolerant, are able to laugh at themselves and one another, and discuss issues openly and honestly to find solutions.
Do you have the qualities to build a solid foundation for a successful relationship? Are you trustworthy, loyal, and able to communicate and express feelings, understanding, happy, and confident about your self?
Longtime partners who remain happily together for many years share the same magical qualities: besides being best friends, they communicate openly and honestly, and share a good sense of humor. For those of you who are single and ready to attract your soul mate –be sure to put your intention out there daily!